Time to grief

It’s been almost 11 years ago now and I actually never took the time to mourn. I never really said my goodbye’s or came at peace with the situation. It was very traumatic and emotionally painful. The way she had died was nothing less than torture and murder. I remember when I entered the bathroom to clean up the blood that I was shocked about the amount of blood I was seeing. It was as if someone had spilled buckets of water but instead of water it was thick red blood with blood clots mixed in it. I could feel and see how it all had happened and couldn’t believe that people are capable of doing such monstrous acts.

I didn’t cry in front of my boyfriend, neither in front of his family because I didn’t want them to see me cry. Somehow I felt that it was a weak thing to do and strong people don’t cry. I withheld my tears for a long time and only let it fall when I was alone.

At that time, I was 19 years old, I had so many things going on, after her death, only 8 days later my grandmother died. A week later I found out that my boyfriend was cheating on me. Two weeks after I had to move out of the house and start living on my own, breaking all contact with my father which lasted for four years.

Time to mourn or grief, wasn’t a possibility, I was studying, working, living on my own and training up to twice a day. It was a really tough time and didn’t have a shoulder to cry on so I had to stand strong and keep on going without thinking about all the things that were going on and had happened. I just completely shut myself off from my emotions and worked like a robot.

Now it’s different, now I have the time and now I’ve made the decision to finally make my peace with all that had happened and give myself room to grief. Finally I will say my goodbye’s and finally I will let my tears fall to process what I’ve been through and what she’s been through 11 years ago. I love her, I send her love and light and will open the doorway for her so she can continue to where she needs to be. May her soul continue to the light where she belongs and will she get there by love. I forgive you beautiful woman and I love you.

Cuarentena

Asi, que ya llevamos seis semanas en cuarentena y he sentido muchas emociones diferentes durante esas semanas. Seis semanas, sin un trabajo remunerado, sin poder enseñar a mis alumnos, sin poder reunirme con amigos o ir a un restaurante. En algunos momentos me siento frustrada, enojada, triste y muy curiosa sobre cómo seguirán las cosas después de la cuarentena.

Ayer tuve una conversación sobre el apoyo que el gobierno peruano está dando a la gente. Están dando una cantidad de dinero a las familias más pobres y canastas llenas de alimentos primarios como arroz, aceite, frijoles y azúcar. El presidente dijo que estas canastas tienen el valor de 80 soles cada una. Realmente aprecio al gobierno peruano por cuidar a su gente y asegurarse de que todos al menos tengan algo para comer.

Pero durante esa conversación descubrí que muchos alcaldes de diferentes municipios no están entregando la canasta con un valor de 80 soles, sino mucho menos. Esto significa que están robando comida que se supone que debe ir a la gente pobre. Además, no todas las familias pobres han recibido el dinero que les prometieron. Estas familias están sufriendo, ya que no tienen ahorros para comprar suministros de alimentos.

Historias como estas pueden hacerme enojar y frustrar mucho por la injusticia que se comete a tanta gente. Ya es suficientemente malo que tengamos que estar encerrados en nuestras casas, pero aún peor para las personas que no tienen nada para comer. Además de eso, continúan extendiendo la cuarentena en lugar de ser completamente honestos y dan una fecha más realista, de la que probablemente ya saben. Esperamos dos semanas y antes de que finalicen las dos semanas nos dicen que la cuarentena se extenderá dos semanas más. ¿Cómo podemos confiar en un gobierno que no está siendo sincero? Prefiero que nos digan de inmediato cuál es la fecha de finalización, aunque falten dos meses. De esa manera, sabemos lo que podemos esperar y podemos intentar prepararnos para los tiempos que vienen.

En otros momentos, cuando miro mi situación personal, me siento muy feliz y agradecida de tener finalmente mucho tiempo libre y hacer lo que quiera hacer. Estoy haciendo muchas cosas para las que normalmente no tengo tiempo, pero ahora sí, y no creo que vuelva a tener esta posibilidad pronto. Es por eso que estoy tratando de aprovecharlo al máximo. Estoy en un lugar hermoso, rodeado de montañas asombrosas llenas de naturaleza y obtuve algunos buenos libros para leer gracias a mis amigas que me los dieron. Estoy más agradecida que nunca por todas las amistades que tengo y feliz de tener tiempo para hablar con ellos. Puedo ponerme al día con muchos amigos con los que no he hablado en mucho tiempo porque ambas partes siempre estaban demasiado ocupadas.

Estoy usando todo mi tiempo para leer mis libros sobre nutrición basada a plantas y arquetipos femeninos. Estoy haciendo un curso en línea sobre ayurveda que también se centra en la nutrición. Me encanta aprender y me estoy tomando el tiempo para aprender sobre todo esto. ¿Por qué? Porque con ese conocimiento puedo ayudarme a mí misma y a otras personas. Acabo de terminar un curso en línea sobre plantas medicinales, que considero muy importante, ya que nuestro medicamento puede provenir simplemente de la naturaleza en lugar de fabricarse químicamente en un laboratorio. Estoy caminando en la naturaleza, todavía estoy haciendo ejercicio, a veces dibujo o coloreo mandalas, lo cual es muy terapéutico por cierto. La meditación es mi práctica diaria para acercarme a mí misma. Hago yoga y cocino mucho y, además, escribo cada vez que me siento inspirada, que es una de mis pasiones.

¡La vida es simplemente hermosa!

Lo mejor de todo esto es que la naturaleza tiene tiempo para descansar, al igual que nosotros los humanos. Los niveles de contaminación se han reducido drásticamente en todas partes del mundo. Los ríos contaminados ahora son cristalinos, los cielos llenos de smog han desaparecido y la gente ahora puede ver las estrellas por la noche. Han aparecido animales que pensábamos que estaban extintos e incluso los animales “salvajes” van a las ciudades. Finalmente, la madre naturaleza tuvo un merecido descanso.

Quarantine

So, we’re already six weeks in quarantine and I’ve felt many different emotions during those weeks. Six weeks, without a paid job, without being able to teach my students, without being able to meet friends or go to a restaurant. Some moments I feel frustrated, angry, sad and very curious about how things will go on after the quarantaine.

Yesterday I had a conversation about the support the Peruvian government is giving to the people. They are giving out an amount of money to the poorest families and baskets filled with primary food supplies like rice, oil, beans and sugar. The president said that these baskets have the value of 80 soles each. I really appreciate the Peruvian government for taking care of their people and making sure everyone at least has some food to eat.

But during that conversation I found out that many mayors from different municipalities are not delivering the basket with a value of 80 soles but far less. This means that they are stealing food which is supposed to go to the poor people. Also, not all poor families have received the money they were promised. These families are suffering, as they don’t have any savings to buy any food supplies.

Stories like these can make me very angry and frustrated because of the injustice that is done to so many people. It’s already bad enough that we have to be locked up in our houses but even worse for the people that don’t have anything to eat. On top of that they keep extending the quarantine instead of being completely honest and give a more realistic date, of which they probably already know of. We wait two weeks and before the two weeks end they tell us the quarantine will be extended two more weeks. How can we rely on a government that isn’t being truthful? I prefer they’d tell us straight away what the end date is, even though it might be two months away. That way, we know what we can expect and we can try to prepare ourselves for the times that are coming.

At other moments, when I look at my personal situation, I feel so happy and grateful to finally have a lot of free time and do whatever I feel like doing. I am doing so many things I normally don’t have time for but now I do and I don’t believe I will get this change again soon. That’s why I’m trying to make the most out of it. I’m in a beautiful location, surrounded by astonishing mountains full of nature and got some good books to read thanks to my friends that gave those to me. I’m more grateful then ever for all the friendships that I have and happy that I have time to speak with them. I can catch up with many friends I haven’t spoken to in a while because both sides were always too busy.

I’m using all my time to read my books about plant based nutrition and female archetypes. I’m doing an online course on ayurveda which is also focused on nutrition. I love to learn and I’m taking the time to learn about all of this. Why? Because with that knowledge I can help myself and other people. I just finished an online course about herbalism, which I consider very important, as our medicine can come simply from nature instead of chemically made in a laboratory. I’m taking walks in nature, I’m still excercising, sometimes I draw or colour mandalas, which is very therapeutic by the way. Meditation is my daily practice to get closer to myself. I do yoga and I do a lot of cooking and on top of that I’m writing everytime I feel inspired which is one of my passions.

Life is just beautiful!

The best of all of this, is that nature got a time to rest, just like us humans. Contamination levels have gone down drastically in all parts of the world. Contaminated rivers are now cristal clear, skies full of smog have disappeared and people can now see the stars at night. Animals that we thought were extinct have shown up and even ‘wild’ animals go into the cities. Finally, mother nature got some well deserved rest.

University and schools

How many times someone hasn’t told me, they have no opportunities because they have not studied. In many conversations with young people they told me that they are not smart because they aren’t going to university. They tell me that they can’t do anything without studies because without it they lack the knowledge to do things.

The university gives you intelligence?

We all have intelligence, it is part of us and it is up to each one of us to develop it or leave it aside because you believe that you need schools to develop it. What colleges and universities do is give information which you then have to memorize and test it in an exam. In some cases they leave you the opportunity to do practical work, which will help you to know how to carry out what you have learned but only according to the way they teach you. In many colleges and universities they do not leave free space to explore and be creative and innovative.

I do not want to say that colleges and universities are bad and it does not serve us, but it would be good to change the education system. And what I do mean is that you don’t need to depend on a college or university to develop your intelligence or mind. If colleges and universities give us information, we can also get that information ourselves.

What do they use in schools?

Books, internet and teachers who teach through this information and their own knowledge. You can find books and information on the internet everywhere, use it to educate yourself. You don’t need to wait for the teacher or the school to be educated. You, yourself have the ability to do it and if there are things you do not understand, you can look for a person who does understand or has experience in what you are learning.

There are many people in the world who have become successful without having studied. What made them successful? Innovation, doing things their own way without the obligation to follow a certain protocol that was taught in school. Being autonomous and trusting in one’s abilities is the most important thing to achieve success. Being very dedicated to what you want to achieve and learning about it in different ways helps you achieve your goals.

Staying with the idea that you cannot achieve anything due to lack of studies and therefore sitting at home watching TV is not going to take you anywhere. Start making an effort, educate yourself and believe in your abilities and your intelligence.

You can do it while you make that effort for it.

Colegios y universidades

Cuántas veces alguien no me ha dicho que no tenga oportunidades porque no ha estudiado. En muchas conversaciones con jóvenes me dijeron que no son inteligentes porque no van a la universidad. Me dicen que no pueden hacer nada sin estudios porque sin eso no saben hacer las cosas.

¿Acaso la universidad es lo que te da inteligencia?

Inteligencia tenemos todos, es parte de nosotros y depende de cada uno si lo desarolla más o lo deja a un lado porque cree que necesita escuelas para desarollarlo. Lo que hacen los colegios y universidades es dar información lo cual luego tienes que memorizar y aprobar en un examen. En algunos casos te dejan oportunidad de hacer trabajo practico, lo cual te ayudara en saber como llevar a cabo lo aprendido pero solo según la manera que ellos te enseñan. En muchos colegios y universidades no dejan espacio libre para explorar y ser creativo e innovativo.

No quiero decir que los colegios y universidades son malos y no nos sirve pero si sería bueno cambiar el sistema de educación. Y lo que sí quiero decir es que no necesitas depender de un colegio o universidad para desarollar tu inteligencia o capacidad cerebral. Sí los colegios y universidades nos dan información, nosotros mismos también podemos conseguir esa información.

¿ Que usan en las escuelas?

Libros, internet y profesores que enseñan a través de esa información y propio conocimiento. Los libros y el internet puedes conseguir en todos lados, usalo para educarte. No necesitas esperar al profesor o al colegio para ser educado. Tu mismo tienes la capacidad de hacerlo y si hay cosas que no entiendes, puedes buscar a una persona que si lo entiende o tiene experiencia en lo que estas aprendiendo.

Hay muchas personas en el mundo que se han vuelto exitoso sin haber estudiado. ¿Que los hizo exitoso? La innovación, hacer las cosas a su propia manera sin la obligación de seguir un cierto protocolo lo que los fue enseñado en colegio. El ser autónomo y confiar en las capacidades de uno mismo es lo más importante para llegar al éxito. Ser muy dedicado a lo que quieres lograr y aprender sobre eso de maneras distintas te ayuda en lograr tus metas.

Quedarte con la idea que no puedes lograr nada por falta de estudios y por eso te quedas sentada en tu casa mirando la tele no te va a llevar a ningún lado. Ponte las pilas, educarte y cree en tus capacidades y tu inteligencia.

Lo puedes lograr mientras tú te esfuerzas.

Hecho por ti mismo?

Cuenta los años de tu vida. ¿A cuántas personas has ayudado desinteresadamente durante tu vida? ¿Has ayudado al menos a una persona por cada año de tu vida?

Sabes que vinimos a esta tierra, no solo para nosotros mismos, sino para cumplir una misión. No sabemos cuál es nuestra misión la mayoría de las veces, pero sí sabemos que vivimos en una sociedad con muchas otras personas. Una cosa debería estar muy clara y es que se supone que debemos estar el uno para el otro. No podemos vivir como personas egoístas porque cuando hacemos eso destruimos todo lo que nos rodea.

Solo sé sincero contigo mismo, ¿cuántas personas te han ayudado de alguna manera? ¿Realmente has hecho todo por tu cuenta sin la ayuda de ninguna otra persona? ¿Realmente te hiciste exitoso por ti mismo?

No lo creo, eso es mentira.

Todos los que has conocido en tu vida han influido en la persona que eres hoy. Tus padres, aún si te trataron mal, tus hermanos o hermanas, incluso si no han sido amables contigo, tus vecinos aún si te despertaron temprano cada mañana con música a todo volumen, tus compañeros de clase, incluso si te hicieron bullying y tus profesores, aún si siempre estuvieran en tu contra.

No importa si las personas que conociste te apoyaban o no, influyeron en tu vida. Te hicieron la persona que eres hoy e incluso si no consideras que te han ayudado, en realidad si lo hicieron. Te hizo más fuerte, ¿no? Te hizo constante y perseverante para lograr tus objetivos. Te hizo ver cómo no quieres ser y cómo no quieres tratar a los demás. Las personas negativas que conociste en tu vida te mostraron exactamente cómo no debería ser la vida y espero que hayas aprendido tus lecciones de eso. Si te has convertido en una de esas personas que siempre te disgustaron, entonces debes preguntarte si estás en el camino correcto y si debes o no comenzar a cambiar tu actitud.

Si tuviste éxito a pesar de todas tus preocupaciones pasadas y experiencias hirientes, puedes estar orgulloso de eso. Pero si bien estás orgulloso de tus logros, deberías ayudar a otra persona a lograr lo mismo. No lo hiciste por tu cuenta, tenías personas a tu alrededor que te ayudaban a alcanzar tus objetivos. ¿Recuerdas que siempre has tenido ese amigo que creía en ti? ¿Recuerdas que una persona que ni siquiera te conocía te había aceptado para ese trabajo? ¿Recuerdas ese día que tu amigo te llevó a casa o te invitó a comer? ¿Recuerdas a esa persona que te alquiló un lugar y nunca te molestó en pagar el alquiler a tiempo?

Solo recuerda los momentos en que has recibido ayuda de alguien, no importa cuán pequeña haya sido esa ayuda. Comienza a apreciar las pequeñas cosas de la vida y a todas y cada una de las personas que se han cruzado contigo, sin importar cuán insignificante parezca.

Nosotros, como personas, somos colectivos y aunque, la mayoría de nosotros, no podemos ver la energía que nos rodea, nos influenciamos mutuamente con nuestras energías. Todos tenemos nuestros guías espirituales que nos guían y protegen para asegurarnos de que vamos por el camino correcto. ¿Alguna vez escuchaste algo en tu mente cuando estabas a punto de hacer algo, que no deberías hacerlo? ¿Pero luego lo hiciste y resultó malo? ¿Alguna vez pensaste en hacer algo pero sentiste en tu estómago que no estaba bien? Esa es tu intuición que te da señales a través de la ayuda de tus guías. Ábrete a esa intuición y comienza a escuchar porque siempre sabe mejor.

Ahora, mira a tu alrededor y date cuenta de lo que está sucediendo en la tierra en este momento. ¿Estás viendo cómo los niveles de contaminación han disminuido en todos los países? Solo porque todos estamos encerrados en nuestras casas durante el encierro. ¿No te hace dar cuenta de que hemos estado viviendo de la manera incorrecta, desconectados de la naturaleza y solo enfocados en nosotros mismos? Estar encerrado dentro de nuestras casas, aunque muchas personas todavía se sienten cómodas, te hace dar cuenta de lo horrible que es no tener libertad, ¿verdad? Sin embargo, tenemos tantos animales encerrados en jaulas, en zoológicos y pequeños acuarios. Al igual que nosotros, tienen la capacidad de sentir y son seres emocionales, la única diferencia es que no pueden hablar con nosotros para decirnos cómo se sienten. ¿Cuál es la actividad principal de un pájaro? Volar. Sin embargo, los ponemos en pequeñas jaulas, por tener pájaros en nuestras casas, despojándolos por completo de sus habilidades naturales. ¿Qué pasa si alguien te tapó la boca y te prohíbe volver a hablar? ¿Cómo te sentirías?

Seamos más conscientes y hagamos un gran cambio cuando todo esto termine. Comience a ayudar a otras personas y animales a su alrededor. Comience a contribuir a la madre naturaleza y pare con la contaminación. No necesitas ese segundo auto, ese nuevo televisor o el décimo par de jeans. Necesitamos producir menos materiales y más amor y amabilidad.

Entonces, si tienes 26 años y solo has ayudado a 13 personas durante tu vida, deberías comenzar a aumentar la cantidad de personas a las que has ayudado. Ayudémonos unos a otros para convertirnos en personas exitosas que se preocupan por nuestro medio ambiente, que incluye a las personas y los animales que nos rodean. Si ves que alguien necesita ayuda, ayúdalo, échale una mano.

Cuando no queden más recursos naturales, nos daremos cuenta de que no podemos comer dinero ni materiales. Pero cuando eso sucede, ya es demasiado tarde. Asegurémonos de que no lleguemos a ese punto y comencemos a cambiar hoy.

Es ahora o nunca.

Selfmade?

Count the years of your life. How many people have you helped, selflessly during your lifetime? Have you helped at least one person for each year of your life?

You see, we came to this earth, not only for our self, but to fulfill a mission. We don’t know what our mission is most of the times but we do know that we live in a society with many other people. One thing should be very clear and that is that we’re supposed to be there for each other. We can’t be living like selfish people because when we do that we destroy everything around us.

Just be plain honest with yourself, how many people have helped you in some way? Have you really done everything on your own without help of any other person? Did you really make yourself successful all by yourself?

I don’t believe that, that’s bullshit.

Everybody you have met in your life have had an influence on the person you are today. Your parents, even if they treated you bad, your brothers or sisters even if they haven’t been loving and kind to you, your neighbors even if they woke you up early each morning with loud music, your classmates even if they bullied you and your teachers even if they would always be against you.

It doesn’t matter if the people you’ve met were supporting you or not, they had an influence on your life. They made you the person you are today and even if you don’t consider they’ve helped you, they actually did. It made you stronger, didn’t it? It made you consistent and perseverant in achieving your goals. It made you see how you don’t want to be and how you don’t want to treat others. The negative people that you’ve met in your life showed you exactly how life shouldn’t be and I sure hope you’ve learned your lessons from that. If you’ve become one of those people you’ve always disliked then you should ask yourself if you’re on the right path and whether or not you should start changing your attitude.

If you became successful despite all your past worries and hurtful experiences, you can be proud of that. But while you’re proud of your achievements, you should be helping someone else to achieve the same. You didn’t do it on your own, you had people around you that were helping you to achieve your goals. Remember you’ve always had that one friend that believed in you? You remember you’ve been accepted to that job by some person that didn’t even know you? You remember that day your friend gave you a ride home or invited you some food? You remember that person that rented you a place and never gave you a sweat of paying the rent on time?

Just remember the moments you’ve had help from someone, no matter how tiny that help might have seemed. Start appreciating the little things in life and each and every person that has crossed paths with you, no matter how insignificant it appears.

Us, as people, are a collective and even though, most of us, can’t see the energy around us, we influence each other with our energies. We all have our spirit guides that are guiding and protecting us to make sure we get on the right path. Ever heard something in your mind when you were about to do something, that you shouldn’t do it? But then you still did it and it turned out bad? Ever thought of doing anything but felt in your stomach that it wasn’t right? That’s your intuition giving you signs through the help of your guides. Open up to that intuition and start listening  because it always knows best.

Now, look around you and realize what is happening on the earth right now. You’re seeing how pollution levels have gone down in every country? Just because we’re all enclosed in our homes on lockdown. Doesn’t that make you realize that we’ve been living the wrong way, disconnected from nature and only focused on ourselves? Being locked up inside your houses, although many people still comfortable, makes you realize how horrible it is not to have freedom right? Yet we have so many animals locked up in cages, in zoos and tiny aquariums. Just like us, they have the capability to feel and are emotional beings, the only difference is they can’t talk with us to let us know how they feel. What’s the main activity of a bird? To fly. Yet we put them in tiny cages, so we have birds in our houses, stripping them completely off their natural abilities. What if someone taped your mouth and prohibits you to ever talk again? How would you feel?

Let’s become more conscious and make a huge change when all of this is over. Start helping other people and animals around you. Start contributing to mother nature and stop with pollution. You don’t need that second car, that new television or the tenth pair of jeans. We need to be producing less materials and more love and kindness.

So if you’re 26 years old and you’ve only helped 13 people during your lifetime, you should be starting to raise the amount of people you’ve helped. Let’s help each other to become successful people that care about our environment which includes the people and animals around us. If you see someone needs help, help them, give them a hand.

When there’s no more natural resources left, we’ll realize that we can’t eat money or materials. But when that happens, it’s already too late. Let’s make sure we don’t get to that point and start changing today.

It’s now or never.

Guerrera femenina

Durante tantos siglos, las mujeres han sido oprimidas. No solo las mujeres, sino muchas otras entidades, como las razas con una piel más oscura porque los hombres blancos decidieron que deberían ser la minoría. En este escrito quiero centrarme particularmente en la opresión de las mujeres en general, de cualquier color, cultura o raza.

Por alguna razón, siempre hemos tenido un cierto rol que debemos seguir y se espera que actuemos, vistamos y pensemos de acuerdo con ese rol. Desde chicas jóvenes nos despojan de nuestra libertad y nos dicen qué hacer. Si una niña quiere jugar con un camión o carro en miniatura, nos dicen que esos juguetes son para niños y que las niñas deben jugar con muñecas. El color rosado es para niñas y azul para niños, por lo tanto, no deberíamos elegir el azul como nuestro color favorito, sino el rosado.

Nos gusta trepar a los árboles, saltar sobre ríos pequeños y correr riesgos, pero por lo general nos dicen que es demasiado peligroso para una niña, por lo que no debemos hacer eso. Ni siquiera son solamente los padres los que nos dicen eso, sino también las madres, ya que están muy lejos de su verdadero ser feminino salvaje.

En realidad, es un simple lavado de cerebro que comienza desde el día en que naces hasta el día en que te levantas y decides que es suficiente y quieres escucharte a ti misma y hacer las cosas de manera diferente. Para algunas ese despertar empieza a una edad avanzada, para otras a una edad temprana y hay quienes nunca experimentan ese despertar.

Debo decir que algunos lugares se adhieren más a esos patrones que otros y no es lo mismo en todas partes, pero que las mujeres siguen oprimidas y tienen menos derechos que los hombres es un hecho en cada país.

Lucho por la igualdad, quiero que todas las mujeres de todo el mundo tengan los mismos derechos, las mismas opciones, la misma libertad que los hombres. Eso significa que se debe permitir a las mujeres expresarse tal como son, elegir el tipo de educación que desean seguir y no ser manipuladas por nadie para hacer las cosas de cierta manera. Todos deberíamos tener libertad para tomar nuestras propias decisiones y decidir qué es lo mejor para nosotras. Después de todo, todos tenemos nuestra intuición y sabemos mejor que nadie qué es lo que necesitamos y debemos hacer. Alguien más no puede decirnos o saber qué es lo mejor para nosotros, todos lo sabemos por nosotros mismos. Es mejor que nos enseñen a escuchar nuestra intuición y seguir nuestra voz interior, para que podamos lograr grandes cosas y ser ejemplos el uno para el otro.

Soy afortunada de haber tenido esa libertad para crecer exactamente de la manera que sentí que quería. He pasado por tantas etapas diferentes de ser una niña muy femenina con faldas y hacer pulseras a una niña masculina, jugar al fútbol y escalar árboles. Recuerdo que cuando comencé a jugar al fútbol, ​​era literalmente la única chica en todo el club, así que no tuve otra opción que unirme a un equipo de niños. Sin embargo, no me importaba porque no veía la diferencia, solo quería jugar al fútbol y no importaba si era con niñas o niños. A esa misma edad quería aprender karate, también lo consideraba un deporte de niños, pero me uní de todos modos. Toqué la batería, era un rapero que se viste con ropa de hombre, un paracaidista, un kickboxer y, finalmente, un luchador de muay thai y viajé sola desde la edad de 17 años. Todo esto por la sociedad considerado para hombres y no para mujeres. Mis padres nunca me dijeron que no debería hacer algo porque era para niños, siempre tuve la libertad de elegir lo que me gustaba hacer.

Desde que era una niña pequeña, siempre tuve la fuerte sensación de demostrar que las mujeres son capaces de hacer lo mismo que los hombres. Que no debería haber ninguna diferencia en lo que se nos permite hacer solo en función de nuestro género. Es algo que tengo dentro de mí desde el día en que nací. Es mi yo interior, mi intuición, la guerrera dentro de mí que siempre ha estado activo y que cada mujer lleva dentro de ella. Ayudémonos unas a otras para despertar a esa guerrera femenina interior que llevamos dentro.

Feminine warrior

For so many centuries women have been oppressed. Not just women but many other entities such as races with a darker skin because white men decided those should be the minority. In this writing I want to focus particularly on the oppression of women in general, of any color, culture or race.

For some reason we’ve always gotten a certain role we should follow and we’re expected to act, dress and think according to that role. Since young girls we’re stripped off of our freedom and we’re told what to do. If a girl wants to play with a miniature truck or car, we are told those toys are for boys and that girls should play with dolls. The pink color is for girls and blue for boys, therefore we shouldn’t choose blue as our favorite color but pink instead.

We like to climb trees, jump over small rivers and take risks but usually we are told that it’s too dangerous for a girl so we shouldn’t do that. It’s not even just fathers that tell us that but mothers as well, as they are so far away from their true savage feminine self.

It’s actually simple brainwash that starts from the day you are born until the day you wake up and decide it’s enough and you want to listen to your inner self and do things differently. For some that comes at a late age, for others at a young age and there are those that never experience that wake up.

I must say that some places stick more to those patterns than others and it’s not the same everywhere but that women are still oppressed and have less rights than men is a fact in each country.

I strive for equality, I want that all women all over the world have the same rights, the same options, the same freedom and liberty as men do. That means that women should be allowed to express themselves just as they are, choose the kind of education they want to follow and not be manipulated by anyone to do things a certain way. We should all have freedom to make our own decisions and decide what is best for us. After all, we all have our intuition and know better than anyone what it is that we need and we should do. Someone else can’t tell us or know what is best for us, we all know that for ourselves. We should better be taught to listen to our intuition and follow our inner voice, so we can achieve great things and be examples for one another.

I’m lucky to have had that freedom to grow up exactly the way I felt I wanted to. I’ve been through so many different stages of being a very girly girl wearing skirts and making bracelets, to a boyish girl, playing football and climbing in trees. I remember when I started playing football I was literally the only girl in the whole club, so I had no other choice but to join a boys team. I didn’t mind though because I didn’t see the difference, I just wanted to play football and it didn’t matter whether it was with girls or boys. At that same age I wanted to learn karate, also considered a boys sport but I joined anyway. I played the drums, was a rapper wearing men’s clothes, a skydiver, a kickboxer and eventually a muay thai fighter and I traveled alone since the age of 17. All of these by society considered for men and not for women. My parents never told me I shouldn’t do something because it was for boys, I always had the liberty to choose what I enjoyed to do.

Since being a little girl I’ve always had the strong sense of showing that women are capable of doing the same things as men. That there shouldn’t be any difference in what we’re allowed to do just based on our gender. It’s something I have inside of me since the day I was born. It’s my inner self, my intuition, the warrior inside of me that has always been active and that each women carries inside of her. Let’s help each other to wake up that inner feminine warrior we carry inside.

Spiritual awakening

I remember I suddenly woke up in the middle of the night, it was all dark around me and my ex-husband was asleep next to me. I felt something I never felt before passing within my body. I felt an intense energy starting at my root chakra and flowing through my whole body, first going up to my head and then back down to my feet and it kept flowing so strongly that I couldn’t lie still. I didn’t have a clue about what was going on but it felt as a relieve, it felt good and I could feel an intense love for everyone and everything. I could see a bright white light shining and I felt as if I was a part of that white light, it felt peaceful.

The days leading up to this particular experience was a preparation that I wasn’t consciously aware of. Three days before it happened, I was meditating on my bed and suddenly felt a sense of energy coming from the palms of my hands. It was as if I was holding a little ball but there was nothing on my hands or near my hands. You could compare the sensation with a tingling, tickling feeling as if your hands are freezing and now they just started to get warm again. The thing is, I wasn’t freezing, neither cold, neither warm and I suddenly started feeling that energy in my hands. Once I realized I wasn’t crazy and I was really feeling an energy I started to feel very thankful and happy with the gift that was waking up.

I told my friend, who is a holistic therapist, and she told me it was something really good because the energy in the hands are the energy lines of giving. I was given the gift of healing people through the universal energy.

The next day during meditation I suddenly felt the same sense of energy on the soles of my feet. So now I could feel it in my hands and I could feel it in my feet. There came a huge sensation of gratitude over me as I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmingly happy with the changes happening in my body. It was a confirmation that there is more to life than just the materialistic way of living.

On the third day I was coloring a mandala and suddenly felt the sense of energy on the top of my head flowing in and out. I started feeling as if I was high on drugs, merely dizzy but a comfortable dizziness, not scary as if you’re going to faint. That’s when I realized this was something bigger and the energy lines were just opening up one by one. I went to sleep that night feeling calm, grateful for the changes and didn’t think about anything else.

That night I had my spiritual awakening, without knowing what a spiritual awakening is and my whole life changed.

I felt overwhelmed with energy, so peaceful but also as if I could run a whole marathon without having done any training. I didn’t know what to do with that energy and I didn’t know where it came from either. I went to see my friend and she did a therapy session to calm the energy down. I was lucky to have someone like her, otherwise I wouldn’t have known how to deal with it at that moment. The most interesting was that all my pains were gone, the hip injury I had for more than eight years was painless. It was as if all ailments had left my body and I got a reset to start over again.

From this moment on, I have been able to do healing sessions with people through energy and whenever I do a healing session, I get information that I need to pass on to that person. I can’t stop but be amazed by this gift that has woken up in me and have been developing on a daily basis. I started doing healing sessions nearby and at a distance, with friends that live in other cities or other countries and they claimed to have gotten better. I am so grateful for this gift and I know there are so many people around the world that carry this gift with them. They only need to wake up their consciousness and they can start healing themselves and others as well. We need all of us to do this so we can heal mother earth because she’s hurting, she’s bleeding and we as a human species are responsible for that. So are we for her healing.